There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
