I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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