My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
