I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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