i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
