oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
