dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My vagina is officially offended.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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