Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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