Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
