At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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