I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
