Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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