the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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