How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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