Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
