some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Vodka?
Forever.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
