Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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