Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
