Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
