butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
