I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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