I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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