wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
