Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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