Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
