I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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