I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
