That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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