I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
