Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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