Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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