If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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