oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
