I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
