u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
