Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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