if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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