I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
