the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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