that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
only you would photoshop your dick
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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