i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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