I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
