I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
