She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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