I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just want nice things and good sex
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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