I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think a kid would responsible me up
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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