I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
