Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You ruined the universe
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
