OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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