my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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