she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Drunk is a universal language darling
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
